Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

After a long summer, wedding season, I found myself asking, “Why am I not getting married?” Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Oddly enough, I found myself looking for answer from an intuitive named Shawna.

Shawna, the Intuitive
I know, I know what you are all going to say. An intuitive? In a nutshell, Shawna’s method is channeling. Over the phone, she gave me a world of information without knowing anything about me. This was so different from the look into a crystal ball we are so familiar with. She started by telling me of the colors around me. She accurately described the color of my business card and my business website. Lucky guess, I suppose. Then she said I had a lot of sand around me. I live on an island. She mentioned my new career and the work I had been doing with meditation. She noted the successes and momentum that was building in these aspects of my life. All of which was great, but what about my love life and my endless walk down the aisle as a bridesmaid.

I’m Not Ready
She said it in very simple words: I wasn’t ready. Oddly enough, it was rather freeing to hear her say that. I felt pressured by myself, my life circumstances, and especially by others, to be married. Most recently, I clung firmly to a wonderful man. With him, I thought I would finally stop being the eternal bridesmaid. He was handsome, kind, and safe. Ah, there’s the word. It was safe to be with him because I trusted him. He was always busy because of his profession which made things nice for me. Neither of us could get too close even though we both played the game of tug-a-war. There was such a pull to be together because we had an incredible connection unlike one I had ever felt before.

Shawna said that I had just opened the door to what could be. I wouldn’t want to be with someone like him anyways, she said, because I’m evolving. I would be bored and unfulfilled. He would never be able to give me the type of depth I want from a relationship. He gave the perception that he could, but I would always be “hungry” for more. Boy did she nail that one! Even when we were at the height of our relationship, I always felt like there was something missing. Still, she assured me not to be too upset about that relationship because he was the perfect man for me at that time. Somehow, her words gave me the courage to let go of him. From that minute onward, I released him. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

My friends would say things like, “Oh, he’s just not that into you.” “He should make more time for you.” Blah, blah blah. Really, it was never about him. It was always about me. I simply was not ready for more. I have so much to be grateful for. He taught me ME; he led me to the door of awakening. Thank you, thank you.

Change is necessary
Shawna said, “It’s ok to change. Change is necessary for more to come.” Then she gave me something that was wonderful. She said that I would find that connection and depth even deeper than I have ever felt before. When she said this, I felt such a wonderful sense of sureness, security, and knowing. He is coming, and he will be here when I am ready. In the meantime, I’m getting ready to be ready.

Shawna reminded me that I should dance more at weddings. It’s ok to be a bridesmaid. If I were getting married, I wouldn’t want my friends jealous or envious of me. I would want them to be happy for me. You may think I could have come to these conclusions on my own, but really, it doesn’t matter how to get to the finish line as long as we actually get there. Right? Yes, I would go back to Shawna because she gave me that release and peace I was seeking. I absolutely loved the experience. I loved knowing that he is waiting for me to be ready. He can wait a little bit longer. I’m busy enjoying…

Talk to Shawna:
Phone: 1-800-KNOWING
Or check out her website:

Music Activities for Your Wedding

At every good wedding, there’s good music. Whether it’s a full live band, a DJ spinning, or recorded music from a miniature boom box, music is a must at every wedding. Yes, it is for dancing. But really, there are a million wedding music activities you can plan for your guests. What a great, fun element to add to your wedding.

When you think of music activities, you might remember the popular kid’s game, musical chairs. Adapt it to fit your wedding. You can have the chairs lined up from the food tables to the floor. Or maybe your guests are open to sitting on the floor. One option is using men as the chairs- they kneel on the floor with one knee bent. The women take turns lightly sitting on the men’s knees as they play musical chairs. If a man, woman, or the couple falls down, the couple is out.

Musical chairs is often played at weddings to see who will take home the table centerpiece. Instead of assigning a number to award the centerpiece, you can have tables play musical chairs. The last person standing is the lucky guest who takes home the centerpiece.

If you are having a smaller, more intimate wedding, why not play “Name That Tune?” Before the wedding, make a list of the favorite songs of both the bride and groom. The person putting this together can create a CD with short snippets of all those songs. You can have guests divide into team. Winner can get a prize- bottle of wine, movie tickets, or something that is related to your wedding theme. One version of this game is “bidding” on who can name the tune faster. One team will say they can name the tune in 10 seconds, while the other team might say 5 seconds. If a group is unable to identify the song, the other team will have a chance to name the tune. Offer prizes to the winners like candy. Candy is relatively inexpensive if bought in bulk and does not require much wrapping.

Depending on the formality level of your wedding, there are plenty of fun music activities that can take place on the dance floor. Some of these games might not work for a large, elegant wedding. Though, if you are having a more casual, fun, family-centered wedding, dancing games are perfect music activities. Guests can “call out” the wedding couple to the dance floor. You can provide hula hoops or have a break dance competition. If you have a large dance floor, you can provide a few beach balls, balloons, noise makers.

Another version of ringing bells for kisses is to have guests “perform” to get the bride and groom to kiss. Before the wedding, the bridesmaids and groomsmen can prepare a dance routine. It is judged by the couple and audience. Be as creative as possible with your wedding music activities. This is your wedding after all. Have fun with it!

Fun Photo Activities for Your Wedding

Your wedding will last one day, but your pictures will last forever. Your friends will see them. Your children and even your grandchildren will see them. They are an integral part of your wedding. It is always thrilling for the newlyweds to get their pictures back from the photographer. It is a way for them to relive that special day. Here are some fun and creative wedding photo activities for your guests.

One idea is taking pictures of your guests as they arrive at the wedding. They might prefer to take a picture early into the wedding as everyone looks their best when they first arrive. Like high school prom, you can provide a backdrop. Either hire a photographer or set up several cameras for them to take their own pictures. Another option is setting up a Polaroid camera for immediate fun or disposable cameras. Talk about a great way to keep your guest busy while they are waiting for the reception to begin.

You can also create a fun scrapbook with the photos. Provide supplies for your guests to create their own pages at the wedding. For those less creative types, you can provide pre-made scrapbook pages where the guest can simply put their photo on the page. You should also place a box for people who do not want to take part in this activity. Another suggestion is for someone to turn these photos into a memory book as a gift to the bride and groom. If you are using a Polaroid, you can have the guest sign their photo and place it in a basket.

Having disposable cameras on each table is still an all-time favorite idea at weddings. Candid photos are fun and allow people to get creative. You can add these photos to the wedding album or create a separate album showing the guests’ perspective of the wedding.

Have you heard of the “silent photo guess”area? This works best in a small, family wedding where the guests know the newlyweds well. It works like this: before the wedding, a close friend collects pictures of the bride and groom in different moment in life. They should be “action pictures” not from Christmas or graduations, nothing too obvious what is taking place. People will come and look at the pictures, then guess what is taking place. They can write their answers on a ballot and put it in a numbered basket with the corresponding picture. Later in the evening, the bride and groom can read the real answers. It can be great entertainment and guaranteed amusing. You can even provide a prize.

If you are not sold on the “prom night” idea, you can set up a photo corner area of the reception area. This is where the wedding photographer can take candid shots of the guests. It is a carefree zone where the guests surprise the bride and groom. It could be pictures of couples, entire families, friends blowing kisses, or the groom being carried on the shoulders of the best man. The bride and groom later see the evidence that their friends and family were also having a great time at their wedding.

Outdoor Wedding Activities

If you are having an outdoor wedding reception, take advantage of the location. You will be able to pull off outdoor wedding activities that you couldn’t do indoors. Think of a fun theme that can be suited for both indoors and outdoors and plan games and activities around your theme.

Lately, more and more weddings are being held in non-traditional locations like farms and parks. There are a myriad of activities you can set up for your guests around these types of locations.

Let’s look at some popular outdoor wedding activities and reception locations. At a winery, you can play the blindfolded wine tasting game. Volunteers can taste some wonderful wines from the vineyards while guessing what type of wine it is. Which is it? Pinot noir or cabernet? You can provide something for the guest to clean their palate in between sips. As a prize, the winner gets the obvious, a wine bottle.

Another popular outdoor wedding location is a country club on a golf course. You can have a golf theme and include golf elements to your wedding. You can lead your guests to the golf course and have a “hole in one” contest. For other amusing outdoor wedding activities, you can have guests play the best stroke contest. To decide who gets the centerpiece, you can have your guests guess how many golf balls are in the floral centerpiece. You can fill up a vase or a large container with golf balls, and your guests could guess how many are in the container. You can purchase in bulk online and make relatively cheap centerpieces. Another silly game you can play with your guests includes the dance floor. Choose a fun, upbeat song and ask everyone to do their best golf swing. The winner is chosen by the bride and groom.

If both the reception and ceremony are held outdoors, think of games and/or activities that keep to your level of formality. With more casual weddings taking place at barns and parks, the ideas for outdoor wedding activities broaden. At a park, you can have guests enjoy a “walk down memory lane.” Before the reception, a close friend can create a private lane where the guests can walk through. Add pictures of the bride and groom through various stages in their lives. At the end of the path, place a book for guests to comment their thoughts and memories. This makes a lovely wedding gift for the bride and groom.

If you are having a very casual wedding reception, tell guests ahead of time to prepare for fun outdoor wedding activities and to bring a change of clothes and maybe some sneakers. Set up a baseball game or a “who can hit the baseball the farthest” contest. Imagine the fun wedding photos of the groomsmen in formal suits and sneakers.

Get creative with your outdoor wedding activities. Think outside of the box. You can always do a barefoot dancing contest or a Frisbee toss in the backyard. Bocce ball anyone? Provide colorful chalk for the kids and adults to leave a sweet message for the bride and groom. Arrange a scavenger hunt using your wedding theme. Croquet or ring toss games are oodles of fun. Is there a pool somewhere close by? After the reception, have a fun swimming activity for the guests and bride and groom to enjoy with a bottle of champagne.